Want to know why people fail at their goals? Three main reasons:
1) They have an unrealistic goal they couldn’t achieve unless a miracle happened.
2) They don’t accurately determine what their true goal is…and stay truth to that path.
3) They don’t have the consistent determination to make the goal a reality.
An unrealistic goal is a dream – something that’s not going to happen. Wishful thinking. A waste of time that ends up in frustration. But guess what? If you don’t accurately determine your goal you’re chasing your tail…a dream, that will leave you frustrated.
You know this is where I give you an example, right?
This weekend while I was in the store, a woman decided to pass the time talking to me about whether she should stand in another long line and play a lottery number. She was thinking if she went with the long-term payments option she would increase her odds of winning, but she said she’d love to hit and be rich, talking about some celebrity that was on the cover of a magazine in the isle. If she took the payment over time option she would have disposable income but she would not be “rich”. Sure, she could sell her rights to the payments and get a lump sum, losing a ton of money in the process. If she wants to be rich payment over time doesn’t achieve her goal does it?
Let’s put this in terms of blogging. I hear all the time a person state the desire to have a successful blog or someone describes their blog as successful. What makes a blog successful? How well known it is? The amount of traffic it has? The amount of times it was linked to? Where it comes up in search results on Google? The reputation of the owner? When someone says they want a successful career is it the income they make, their reputation, or their title in the company that makes them successful? Robert Scoble wrote about a woman he bumped into who just loves Fake Steve Jobs (FSJ):
Last week I was getting an iced latte at the new Peets in Half Moon Bay. I was wearing a Blogger T-shirt. Old school. There a lady came up to me and asked “is that the Fake Steve Jobs T-shirt?â€
I remembered that FSJ published his blog on Blogger and figured the Blogger logo was confusing this lady who assumed it was FSJ’s logo. Blogger, as you know, is the blog service from Google which was started by Evan Williams, er, evhead.
Anyway, I explained to her that the logo wasn’t really Fake Steve Jobs, but rather the tool he published with. Demonstrates that there’s a lot of brand power in Fake Steve Jobs.
As she walked away she said “I love Fake Steve Jobs.”
FSJ has an audience. He has traffic. He even has a reputation as FSJ. Is he successful? Sure…if you call having a large group of people “loving” you but not knowing who you “really” are (even when it was disclosed on your site), while you help build the brand of another company successful…yes indeed he is. Seriously, he has a book, with his name on it and the woman still didn’t know who he was. For kicks I started asking people if they heard of FSJ and if they had, what his name was. No one knew his name (but many heard of FSJ) and the reality: many people would be happy having the traffic and “success” even if people didn’t know their name. On the flip side, many people would not be satisfied.
When a person wants to own a Porsche 911 Carrera S Carbriolet do they want the car, the status the car brings, or to have enough disposal income to afford spending $94K on a car? If a person wants the Porsche bad enough they will work four jobs and will streamline their expenses (in other words do whatever it takes) to get the car. Realistically, it might take a couple of years to get it but the hard work and consistent focus pays off with the joy the person feels driving it off the lot.
A person wants to lose weight but when it comes to doing what needs to be done to lose the weight they fail. Why? Lack of determination. A person with a goal without determination is dreaming. The goal of losing weight becomes a dream. Or wants straight A’s but hanging out with friends took priority over studying. Or wants to write 3 articles a day but only two a week are published.
At one time I wanted to have a nightclub. My parents had one, I enjoy dancing and having my own business…seems like a good fit doesn’t it? One problem: I enjoy being mobile. I enjoy not being attached to a specific location. I need a computer and an internet connection…I’m good to go. A club, well, that’s different isn’t it? I would have to delegate responsibility, oversee people, I wouldn’t be mobile and I wouldn’t be having fun on the dance floor if I’m the owner, would I? Of course not. I might enjoy my “work” but there is a difference enjoying yourself as a consumer and enjoying yourself (ie: on call) as the owner. As a consumer when I want to leave, I get in my car and go. As a responsible owner my job isn’t over when the club closes. My true goal? I want the socializing that a club brings (and other forms of socializing) without the overhead (expense, responsibility, etc.) a club would bring. Zeroing in on the true goal opened the door for me to start working on what I “really” want…and guess what? I’m still mobile.
An unrealistic goal can be altered to a realistic one. With time one can accurately determine what their true goal is. A person without consistent determination usually has to make a life change to achieve their goals.
Even a dream can come true, not by a miracle, but by gauging in front of you the obstacles in your way that prevent you from seeing your dream into a reality.
Your asking yourself, “What do I need to be one step closer to that dream of mine?” and “What can I do to accomplish that?”.
By doing so, you’re breaking off portions you can chew and digest. Impossible dreams can suddenly seem realistic if you’re looking at each small step rather than the far end of the field in one go. At the same time, you’re also fine tuning the scope of your dream with each successful mission accomplished.
Sometimes dreams that seem impossible will, with a bit of out-of-the-box thinking and a whole lot of jerry-rigging, succeed. Sometimes you might even create a whole new way of doing things that most people don’t often come up with because they take the road most travelled.
But you’re right, it all depends on your determination and will power. Some of us give up. Some of us never say die. How we turn the impossible around depends on that. Sometimes it’s as simple as that.
Regarding the money example…I had this discussion with some co-workers last year and ultimately it came down to the fact that if you take the lump sum, you will actually have “more” money when you are (lets say) 50. The rationale being that the law of 72 comes into play
Law of 72.
Basically, the value of a dollar will continue to shrink as time goes on. You can buy more with $1 today then you will be able to in 7 years, 14 years, 21 years, etc….
So by taking a lump sum, you give yourself the opportunity to actually create a larger pot of wealth in today’s terms for the future.
Sure, getting a solid $200k after takes every year would be super nice…but if you are 25 today and you receive $200k when you are 50, that $200k will not go as far as it would when you were 25.
Just some food for thought on that 1 issue…but great write-up on goals.
and just to clarify as that original link I posted didn’t exactly explain the purchasing power side of things, check out this link
@Kami – but what you are describing is someone working towards a goal. That is why I used myself as an example to help make the point clearer. Going back to ST I talked about having a club (which I had minutely planned out even down to the licenses needed) because that is what I grew knowing because of my parents but when I think about it, I wasn’t focused on the club it was the social aspect. How many times did I say on ST that being in the same place with the same people isn’t my thing? To me, that’s stuck in a rut…been there, done that. I haven’t traveled, I want to see the world. What I “really” want is to travel to Paris and hang in their clubs, restaurants, meet people there, then go to Mexico, rinse and repeat, etc. I also have a goal of helping people which I enjoy and the internet allows me to do that, have an income and be mobile so I can travel. Like you mentioned fine-tuning the “dream” and realizing what the true goal is was the key.
@Bryan – In this case the woman would have gotten a almost 2M if she “tricked” the lottery and got the payment over time option. After taxes and selling the her rights to the money she would just barely have a million left. In time if she spent and invested wisely she’d be a millionaire but the numbers are pulled randomly. To my knowledge they haven’t been able to statistically prove one payment method wins more than the other so it would have made more sense for her to take the bulk payment from the lottery and receive the 2M from them…then she would have reached her goal.
But you make a very good point about purchasing power. Shame the dollar has less value over time.