Want to know why people fail at their goals? Three main reasons:

1) They have an unrealistic goal they couldn’t achieve unless a miracle happened.
2) They don’t accurately determine what their true goal is…and stay truth to that path.
3) They don’t have the consistent determination to make the goal a reality.

An unrealistic goal is a dream – something that’s not going to happen. Wishful thinking. A waste of time that ends up in frustration. But guess what? If you don’t accurately determine your goal you’re chasing your tail…a dream, that will leave you frustrated.

You know this is where I give you an example, right?

This weekend while I was in the store, a woman decided to pass the time talking to me about whether she should stand in another long line and play a lottery number. She was thinking if she went with the long-term payments option she would increase her odds of winning, but she said she’d love to hit and be rich, talking about some celebrity that was on the cover of a magazine in the isle. If she took the payment over time option she would have disposable income but she would not be “rich”. Sure, she could sell her rights to the payments and get a lump sum, losing a ton of money in the process. If she wants to be rich payment over time doesn’t achieve her goal does it?

Let’s put this in terms of blogging. I hear all the time a person state the desire to have a successful blog or someone describes their blog as successful. What makes a blog successful? How well known it is? The amount of traffic it has? The amount of times it was linked to? Where it comes up in search results on Google? The reputation of the owner? When someone says they want a successful career is it the income they make, their reputation, or their title in the company that makes them successful? Robert Scoble wrote about a woman he bumped into who just loves Fake Steve Jobs (FSJ):

Last week I was getting an iced latte at the new Peets in Half Moon Bay. I was wearing a Blogger T-shirt. Old school. There a lady came up to me and asked “is that the Fake Steve Jobs T-shirt?”

I remembered that FSJ published his blog on Blogger and figured the Blogger logo was confusing this lady who assumed it was FSJ’s logo. Blogger, as you know, is the blog service from Google which was started by Evan Williams, er, evhead.

Anyway, I explained to her that the logo wasn’t really Fake Steve Jobs, but rather the tool he published with. Demonstrates that there’s a lot of brand power in Fake Steve Jobs.

As she walked away she said “I love Fake Steve Jobs.”

FSJ has an audience. He has traffic. He even has a reputation as FSJ. Is he successful? Sure…if you call having a large group of people “loving” you but not knowing who you “really” are (even when it was disclosed on your site), while you help build the brand of another company successful…yes indeed he is. Seriously, he has a book, with his name on it and the woman still didn’t know who he was. For kicks I started asking people if they heard of FSJ and if they had, what his name was. No one knew his name (but many heard of FSJ) and the reality: many people would be happy having the traffic and “success” even if people didn’t know their name. On the flip side, many people would not be satisfied.

When a person wants to own a Porsche 911 Carrera S Carbriolet do they want the car, the status the car brings, or to have enough disposal income to afford spending $94K on a car? If a person wants the Porsche bad enough they will work four jobs and will streamline their expenses (in other words do whatever it takes) to get the car. Realistically, it might take a couple of years to get it but the hard work and consistent focus pays off with the joy the person feels driving it off the lot.

A person wants to lose weight but when it comes to doing what needs to be done to lose the weight they fail. Why? Lack of determination. A person with a goal without determination is dreaming. The goal of losing weight becomes a dream. Or wants straight A’s but hanging out with friends took priority over studying. Or wants to write 3 articles a day but only two a week are published.

At one time I wanted to have a nightclub. My parents had one, I enjoy dancing and having my own business…seems like a good fit doesn’t it? One problem: I enjoy being mobile. I enjoy not being attached to a specific location. I need a computer and an internet connection…I’m good to go. A club, well, that’s different isn’t it? I would have to delegate responsibility, oversee people, I wouldn’t be mobile and I wouldn’t be having fun on the dance floor if I’m the owner, would I? Of course not. I might enjoy my “work” but there is a difference enjoying yourself as a consumer and enjoying yourself (ie: on call) as the owner. As a consumer when I want to leave, I get in my car and go. As a responsible owner my job isn’t over when the club closes. My true goal? I want the socializing that a club brings (and other forms of socializing) without the overhead (expense, responsibility, etc.) a club would bring. Zeroing in on the true goal opened the door for me to start working on what I “really” want…and guess what? I’m still mobile.

An unrealistic goal can be altered to a realistic one. With time one can accurately determine what their true goal is. A person without consistent determination usually has to make a life change to achieve their goals.