I noticed that people have a different definition of “done”. The dictionary has this definition:

Completed; finished; through: Our work is done.

That’s my definition. I was surprised how many people use the word “done” when they want to be done with something or someone but really aren’t.

A friend of mine was working on a project and he told me he was done with it; yet he was still working on it. Mentally, he had one definition of “done”. He was “detached” but he wasn’t “done” until he stopped working on it and the project was finished. That’s done.

I am told all the time by guys they are “done” with their ex-girlfriends. Yet, the women still have active roles in their lives. The guys are the ones initiating contact. They aren’t “done”. On the flip side, I’m honest. When I say I’m done with my exes I’m done. I have zero residual feelings, I’m cool with them all, I rarely initiate contact and if I do, you can be damn sure there isn’t any lovey dovey talk going on. Rog and I are friends, our relationship is done but our friendship is not. I don’t pine after him, I can go weeks or months without talking to him…no sweat. If him and his family are okay, I’m cool with that. If I get in a relationship my new guy and Rog would probably interact in some form or another.

Want to piss me off royally? A guy saying or implying he’s “done” with a woman and I find out he’s not. Oh man, that’s when I become “done” with him. He’s either lying or insulting my intelligence – two things I can’t stand. And because I detest it, I get it…a lot. It’s Murphy’s Law.

I realized this weekend that people and their inability to be “done” with situations is what messes them up. Takes them away from their goals. How can a person find love if their attention is focused on someone they know won’t work out?

How can the person who claims to want success and is “done” making bad choices have success if he/she is surrounded my non-ambitious, mentally inferior (but so much fun!) people who have different goals and lack will-power to do better for themselves?

How can the overweight person claim they are “done” being overweight when they make the conscious choice, everyday, to take in more calories than they burn off?

How can the person who claims it is time to straighten out their life (“done” with their life not being the way they want) do that if, every week, he/she is getting drunk with the same people, in the same place, doing the same things…not improving anything?

To a degree, we all say we’re done when we aren’t. I said many times I was “done” doing something and was going to make a change when, in truth, I knew I wasn’t “done”. I wanted to be “done” but I wasn’t “done”. That only led to false promises and false hopes. Thankfully it wasn’t in areas that involved other people.

I mentioned that when Sims 3 is released I’ll end up looking some things in the face. Things I pushed aside and didn’t want to deal with. This happens every Sims release. I tend to play RPGs like I live my life (twisted, I know) and especially with The Sims 3 being a life role-playing game…it just opens the door for all kinds of truth to come out. Eventually I’ll make a house with random people in it but I always start out as my life is currently and it evolves into what I want my life to become at that time (considering the limits of the game).

I already know I’ll find the answer to why nothing appeals to me real estate wise. I already know the answer…I simply can’t believe it to wrap my brain around it (no, it’s not that I don’t want to move). Once I face it, I can’t say I’m “done” with one mode of thinking when I’m really not.

This week I’ll be looking at the things and people I said I’m “done” with to see if I’m really “done”. If not…it’s time to make it happen.

Be careful when you say you’re “done”. Don’t lie to others or worse, lie to yourself.