Completed; finished; through: Our work is done.

That’s my definition. I was surprised how many people use the word “done” when they want to be done with something or someone but really aren’t.

A friend of mine was working on a project and he told me he was done with it; yet he was still working on it. Mentally, he had one definition of “done”. He was “detached” but he wasn’t “done” until he stopped working on it and the project was finished. That’s done.

I am told all the time by guys they are “done” with their ex-girlfriends. Yet, the women still have active roles in their lives. The guys are the ones initiating contact. They aren’t “done”. On the flip side, I’m honest. When I say I’m done with my exes I’m done. I have zero residual feelings, I’m cool with them all, I rarely initiate contact and if I do, you can be damn sure there isn’t any lovey dovey talk going on. Rog and I are friends, our relationship is done but our friendship is not. I don’t pine after him, I can go weeks or months without talking to him…no sweat. If him and his family are okay, I’m cool with that. If I get in a relationship my new guy and Rog would probably interact in some form or another.

Want to piss me off royally? A guy saying or implying he’s “done” with a woman and I find out he’s not. Oh man, that’s when I become “done” with him. He’s either lying or insulting my intelligence – two things I can’t stand. And because I detest it, I get it…a lot. It’s Murphy’s Law.

I realized this weekend that people and their inability to be “done” with situations is what messes them up. Takes them away from their goals. How can a person find love if their attention is focused on someone they know won’t work out?

How can the person who claims to want success and is “done” making bad choices have success if he/she is surrounded my non-ambitious, mentally inferior (but so much fun!) people who have different goals and lack will-power to do better for themselves?

How can the overweight person claim they are “done” being overweight when they make the conscious choice, everyday, to take in more calories than they burn off?

How can the person who claims it is time to straighten out their life (“done” with their life not being the way they want) do that if, every week, he/she is getting drunk with the same people, in the same place, doing the same things…not improving anything?

To a degree, we all say we’re done when we aren’t. I said many times I was “done” doing something and was going to make a change when, in truth, I knew I wasn’t “done”. I wanted to be “done” but I wasn’t “done”. That only led to false promises and false hopes. Thankfully it wasn’t in areas that involved other people.

I mentioned that when Sims 3 is released I’ll end up looking some things in the face. Things I pushed aside and didn’t want to deal with. This happens every Sims release. I tend to play RPGs like I live my life (twisted, I know) and especially with The Sims 3 being a life role-playing game…it just opens the door for all kinds of truth to come out. Eventually I’ll make a house with random people in it but I always start out as my life is currently and it evolves into what I want my life to become at that time (considering the limits of the game).

I already know I’ll find the answer to why nothing appeals to me real estate wise. I already know the answer…I simply can’t believe it to wrap my brain around it (no, it’s not that I don’t want to move). Once I face it, I can’t say I’m “done” with one mode of thinking when I’m really not.

This week I’ll be looking at the things and people I said I’m “done” with to see if I’m really “done”. If not…it’s time to make it happen.

Be careful when you say you’re “done”. Don’t lie to others or worse, lie to yourself.

I closed comments Monday on #4 because I figured out how #5 was going to end and I wanted comments about #5 to all be in one place. By closing comments I left only one outlet for communication: email. I stopped paying attention to the numbers after they went over 750, which did not surprise me but I still find very humbling. Some people enjoyed the episode. Gamers did not enjoy the episode. Ciji is very disliked. People feel VERY sympathetic to Dante’s situation. This echoes the conversation across the internet in multiple areas.

WCG Ultimate Gamer #5 was definitely drama filled. There was a lot going on and it is important to shift through what is real and what is an illusion, while remaining objective. If you have not seen the episode yet, you can view it on Hulu.

Robert

I want to get one small detail out of the way about the Robert/Dante alliance. Robert did not promise, in a partnered situation, he would take Jamal out. The clip was shown out of context. Robert did right by not throwing the game and I seriously doubt that Dante would harbor bad feelings over it. From Robert’s or Dante’s standpoint, they’d have to go head to head anyway if they both made it that far but as friends, they should play their best and let the best man win. Keep in mind that the clip of Dante and Robert talking was taken out of context.

Ciji & Mark

May as well get the Ciji and Mark situation out of the way as well. Again, another ratings move ala editing. If you remember, she placed her arm around Mark in a previous episode as they were building up this storyline. The events as we are seeing them obviously are not in the order they actually took place.

Did they kiss? Who cares…it literally doesn’t matter. This happened months ago, Mark is still with his girlfriend, Dante is with his girlfriend and to my knowledge, Ciji is alone (who cares?).

It’s old news.

Ciji Throwing the Match

True gamers do not throw matches. They especially do not throw matches in team play. Ciji might be skilled at some games but she threw a game for her personal agenda…get rid of Dante. Perhaps her teammates knew she was going to throw it. Perhaps they were surprised to find out she did that.

I do not buy that if she did not throw her game Dante still would have lost…because she felt the need to throw the game. To me, that implies their team could have won, otherwise why bother? Why ruin her reputation for something that would naturally happen anyway? I think she threw the game to get rid of what she knew was serious competition. Her strong games were done and she doesn’t have much to offer anymore.

IMO she threw the game (purposely lost) because she knew her time is limited. It’s a desperate, pathetic move. I hope, if there is an other series by WCG, they put it in the bylaws that purposely throwing a game leads to immediate removal from the house. It is a disrespect to the sport.

Dante AKA The Guy Who Picked the Wrong Ball

Almost no one agrees with the way Dante’s exit happened. Even people who dislike Dante do not like it and that says a lot. Be eliminated based on your own skill (or lack of). Being eliminated because he had rotten luck on the picking of team choices has nothing to do with finding the Ultimate Gamer (how the show is advertised) and people seriously do not like it. Add to that his own team mate threw the game and it is just an ugly exit.

An ugly exist that Dante took like a good sport. In truth, he went to a better situation. He went home to a loving girlfriend with a lot of new gaming experience under his belt. He’ll have time to practice to not let people like Jamal irritate him. The next challenge he will come back stronger than ever. I do not want to say too much since I will most likely be interviewing Dante but things have a way of working out the way the should. More on this in a minute.

Looking Into the Future

People are upset about how the show is not “really” about finding the Ultimate Gamer. I sympathize with their point of view. See, if it were an independent company (WSJ, Bank of America, General Motors – insert company here) that was not directly involved with the competitions the angle of it just being a show and not about the gamers would be easier to swallow.

WCG handles global competitions. Have all the drama you want but when it comes to the games, let them be fair, cannot be fixed and the best person wins each episode. Let me be clear: I’m glad the show is on the air. I hope the series is successful.

Tying this to business: as a gamer your reputation has more weight than your skill. This show proves it and I said it before. More evenly matched players, whether they are the best or not, makes for better “entertainment”. In the end, what do you want your reputation to be?

Cheat: to deceive; influence by fraud.
Fraud: deceit, trickery, sharp practice, or breach of confidence, perpetrated for profit or to gain some unfair or dishonest advantage.
Trust: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
Integrity: adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
Champion: a person who has defeated all opponents in a competition or series of competitions, so as to hold first place.
Fool: a silly or stupid person; a person who lacks judgment or sense.
Respect: esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.

What do you want your reputation to be and more important…is your reputation now anywhere close?

A Word on Revenge…and Karma

Karma:

action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman

Ciji wanted Dante out of the house and she got her wish. Not only did she achieve her goal but she:

• Created a huge amount of sympathy for Dante.
• Increased the curiosity of viewers on what Dante will be doing next.
• Increased Dante’s exposure triple-fold.
• Helped show how lucky he is to be in a loving relationship with his girlfriend (ie: he made the right choice).

I could go on. By creating all the personal drama she sparked an interest in Dante that wouldn’t have come out otherwise. He would have been the quiet player that might not even be highlighted until later episodes. Think about it, take out all the drama from Ciji (which led to the Jamal drama) and he’s the quiet gamer with cool hair. Like Mark was the quiet gamer…haha until Ciji Thorton. Swoozie is a good player but there isn’t a lot of drama around him, is there? Or Robert?

And that interest has the potential to be worth way more than $100,000. The fact that he handled himself, in a tough situation, with integrity (even with the complaints of Dante being whiny) makes him much more appealing to sponsors than a drama-filled gamer. One thing this episode shows is how much editing goes into the show…and how things might not be the way they appear (I proved it above). Maybe Dante isn’t “whiny” like some people think. Maybe Ciji didn’t really throw the game this episode but her desire to do it previously makes it 100% believable. Congratulations Ciji on achieving your goal…and more.

Don’t put your heart in your mind’s position.

Qualitative vs. Quantitative

I was reading a blog entry about World of Warcraft and it summed up a point very nicely (it applies to everything). In the scenario of the following damage output stats in a 5-man instance:

Rogue = 2100
Warlock = 1900
Hunter = 1700
Prot Warrior = 900
Holy Paladin = 25

Which one was the best player? The average answer is the Rogue because the Rogue did the most damage. Unfortunately, that’s the narrow-minded (and inaccurate) way of looking at things:

But what if I told you the rogue stole aggro on half the pulls, refused to sap the correct target, and rolled need on every boss drop? And what if I told you that the hunter consistently trapped mobs that got loose and ran toward the healer, never Multi-Shot mobs that were CC’d or minding their own business, and offered a feast every time someone died?

I’ll tell you right now, as a tank and someone who often puts together and leads instance runs, I’d take the hunter anytime they wanted to run, and I’d add the rogue to my NotesUNeed list under “Avoid.”

Even though the Rogue did the most damage the Hunter brought more value to the group.

Applying This Online…

With online interactions, for example blogging, which person are you? Are you the one that comes in last and not making a good effort? Are you the pain in the ass that does good work but takes advantage of people and situations? Or are you the Hunter that sees what needs to be done and does it efficiently and effectively.

In your business interactions are you the person that claims you have a particular set of skills when in truth you don’t (the Rogue)? Are you the person that is knowledgeable in your field and can accomplish the goals you set out to accomplish (the Hunter)?

In the End…

You can pretend to be one thing but the truth will come out on who you really are. The Rogue isn’t as good as the Hunter and that will not change until the Rogue realizes their “bad” behavior and stops doing it consistently.

Which person are you…really?

Why do people have mental blocks in the first place? I remember in school one of the main reasons why people have a hard time working through a mental block is due to the inability to accept the facts of a given situation. Yes, that was my problem and Scrivs found that out real quick.

Scrivs: Why did you do that?
Me: Because it improved the situation.
Scrivs: No it doesn’t.
Me: Theoretically, it should because….
Scrivs: It doesn’t.
Me: Oh….(I’m still not letting it go but I don’t say anything)
Scrivs: So what would you do in X situation?
Me: (I give the appropriate answers but slide in I “could” do X…)
Scrivs: Why would you do that?
Me: Because theoretically….

It wasn’t until he explained to me why it wouldn’t work that I let it go and had that “Oooohhhh!!!!” moment. And that was the beginning of me letting go of the mental block. Once that block started to dissolve other blocks (dependent on the first one) started to dissolve. Things started to make sense.

If you have a mental block try and detach and see if you are injecting something into the situation that doesn’t belong. Accept the facts and prove them to be true.

*And yes, I made a World of Warcraft entry without mentioning the game…until now that is…*

What I find interesting about this is the control picture. The child’s picture was altered to look “ugly” and still everyone said the baby was cute. What interests me about this was there are numerous dodge phrases to use. Trust me there are, I use them.

• Oh isn’t he precious!
• You are so blessed to have this little bundle of joy…look at her!
• Your child reminds me of when my children were small.

Where there is a will there is a way. I can’t recall the parent asking me, when I didn’t say the child was cute, if their child was cute. Perhaps I need to come up with a phrase for that.

In an effort to spare someone pain (even strangers it seems) we tell those white lies in an act of kindness. Being generous here, there are times when telling those white lies are “okay” but there are times when a person prefers the truth. Don’t do what is easier for you (lie), tell them the truth.

A time like that is coming up for me. The next 9rules round (#7) begins August 6th. As I go through sites I have to be honest and objective. And unfortunately I’m the one that tells writers their blog didn’t make it. When time permits I try to tell them why (if they ask) because I think it is important to know the “why” and talk about it. For many who submit their site the feedback I gave them was the first objective criticism received. Even though it is tough I end up being glad I told the truth as I saw it.

That doesn’t mean you should tell someone their baby is ugly. You might get your butt whooped. Or if your girlfriend asks if those jeans makes her butt look big. Personally I’d say, “Yes, and you know this…why are you asking me?” and be in the doghouse but I can sympathize with the boyfriend that says, “No honey…”.

What I’m saying is that there is a time and a place for white lies (church seems to be one of them) and there is definitely a time to be mature and tell the truth.

Know the difference. Act accordingly.

Problogging guru’s who a truly successful don’t share their best, money making secrets, after all, if they are successful why would they need to share? Why would they want you to cash in on their money making idea? They don’t, or what they do share worked for them 12 months ago, and they’ve moved on to new methods.

Very good questions Duncan. Why would anyone give away methods they are currently being used and depended on so someone else can do it better? Interesting because people are skeptical with commercials telling people how to get rich but online, people easily accept what they would not offline. Some people might experience some improvement but very few (if any) receive “get rich” results.

To be a success, a true top of the industry success, that takes leadership. If the thought process is “I want to create a site like Digg” does that sound like a leader? Of course not. Rephrase: “I want to start a site like Digg but I want to add A, B, C, D, E and this is how I’m going to do it because I have a plan, the cash, and it will launch feature rich” – that’s more like a leader don’t ya think? But that doesn’t mean it will be a success because that plan has to have a way to either penetrate the loyal Digg userbase and take it away or create an equally large community without it. Ouch…not an easy task is it? Meanwhile Digg has a lead of constantly improving while copycats are just trying to stay afloat.

Which is why, if you’re looking to others on how to create revenue, how to be better, essentially you’re still in school, still learning. On Not Too Geeky I write about applying business principles to Web 2.0 (oh lawd, I said it) ventures. It’s up to you to take that knowledge and do something with it. Thinking more efficiently perhaps that success will be achieved. There is one key difference in what I write at Not Too Geeky, the principles/strategies I write about can applied to almost anything. A SWOT could easily be applied to a resume, a loan application, improving a marriage – anything. A change in thinking so, armed with information, the tools that one would seek elsewhere can be found from within – thinking them out yourself.

Be careful of the advice given online. There are tons of it, but is it all good? No. I’m not saying what I write here is better than anywhere else because that is not true. Different strokes for different folks. I prefer to write about things that give those interested a stronger foundation in anything they do. Without a strong foundation all the tips, money, or talent in the world won’t stop it from crumbling. Inward.

To Duncan: The irony in this is priceless.